Back to “Normal”

It’s ironic, but between Saturday spent in the dalit community and Monday spent at Sumanahally, we had Sunday, which we spent exploring the city of Bangalore – India’s “Silicon Valley” and “the most Westernized city in all of India.”

Why ironic? Because on Sunday life just went right back to normal for us.

We got up early and went to an English church service – a luxury we don’t get at our respective sites. Following the service, we went out for expensive coffee – it wasn’t Starbuck’s, but it might as well have been (and actually, it was better). After that, we went somewhere for a little brunch of my favorite food here (do you remember from a previous blog?). And following brunch, we walked down a crowded street of shops and restaurants until we came upon a cinema showing none other than the new Harry Potter movie. And would you believe that this movie actually came out in Bangalore before it came out in the United States? Believe it, it’s true. So, between coffee, brunch, and the movie, we spent about 150 rupees each (just over three dollars). That’s practically nothing to any middle-class American, but sitting in the theater waiting for the movie to begin, I couldn’t help but wonder at the irony of the situation. And yet, I can’t say enough that my becoming poorer won’t make anyone richer. My becoming aware is what’s truly important and what this program is designed for. But still…

After a few hours of entertainment at the cinema, we went out for lunch – a nice, cloth napkin type of place where we ordered naan, butter chicken, and a cheese korma dish – everything the spoiled Americans craved. And soon after lunch, I came upon a bakery selling what looked to be the most delicious chocolate cake in the universe. After handing over 15 rupees, I found that my eyes didn’t deceive me – it was the most delicious chocolate cake in the universe. But I couldn’t help but wonder at the irony of my standing in the middle of a crowded sidewalk in Bangalore stuffing a 15-rupee piece of chocolate cake into my mouth while a couple hours away in Bangarapet, little children and old men and women were wondering if they would eat supper that night.

I wondered, but I still enjoyed my chocolate cake. Is that not ironic?

Later in the day, I purchased souvenirs for my family, friends, and self. I found a grocery store where I could stock up on chocolate bars because I’ve felt that my system is lacking sugar and saturated fat lately. And I researched where the best clubs could be found so that the girls could enjoy a little night out. After another huge and relatively expensive dinner out, we went to that club. I spent 200 rupees on a drink that was well worth it, and then the other girls and I danced the night away with the Indian boys who found we American girls to be so beautiful. It was fun, perhaps even the most fun I’ve had since coming to India, and I forgot about Bangarapet for a while.

But I’m thinking about it now and wondering if I should have done something else with that 200 rupees. Should I have skipped the drink? Should I have skipped the club all together? Should I have skipped the expensive dinner and lunch? How about the inexpensive brunch out? The cake? The coffee? The candy stash? The souvenirs? Should I be spending more money in one day than some of these families make in several months? I don’t know the answers…

I keep reminding myself that my becoming poor will not solve the problems, that my not spending that 200 rupees (or however much it was at any given time) will not change anything for anyone. But it doesn’t change the fact that I’m having a hard time justifying the spending of that money. Or perhaps it’s not even that – I don’t know if I need to justify spending the money. But I think I do need to justify the ease with which I forget how many people must go without any food at all while I complain about my cravings for good chocolate.

Don’t I?