Two American Girls Make a Big Scene at the Aluva Bus Stand

I hesitated to post this blog because I am slightly worried that it will cause worry. So I’ll tell you that there is no need for that and hope you’ll believe me, because I do not want this story to go unheard. I think of this blog as the safe space where I can be honest and truthful about my experiences, and I think my readers expect that honesty and truth – without any sugarcoating or candy topping.

And so, here I am, being honest and truthful about what life in India can be like on some days…

It was Saturday night, about 8:00. Jenika and I had been to Ernakulam that day, and we were now waiting at the bus stand, for two different buses, which would take us two different directions. While we waited I purchased a water, but I couldn’t get the bottle open. I gave it to Jenika, who struggled with it for just a minute before realizing that her bus was about to leave. She handed it back to me, said a quick goodbye, and rushed off.

A man who had been standing near us saw me struggling with the bottle cap. He reached out his hand in an offer of help, and I was thankful for the gesture. But not for long. He worked at the bottle cap, which eventually began to loosen and turn, but, in the process, water spilled out onto my feet and the bags that sat at them. Before this went any further, I wanted the bottle back. So I laughed sweetly and reached for my water. The man let go of the bottle, but, while withdrawing his hand, he grabbed onto me. Well, grab might not be the correct word to use. But he did touch me – inappropriately, blatantly, right there in the middle of a crowded bus stand.

Some might say he did it because I wasn’t wearing a shawl (the victim’s fault). Some might say he did it because I am a white woman (the culture’s fault). I think he did it simply because I am a woman (I don’t know whose fault that is, but it’s still not the man’s), and the sad truth is that most women would let him get away with it.

But I would not. He was not the first random man whose hands have wandered onto random parts of my body, but he was the first whom I could call on it. And so I did. I don’t remember what words I used, but I do remember that I shouted them. I wanted to make a scene. I wanted to turn heads. I wanted to attract attention to this man’s misbehavior. While I shouted and heads turned our way, he walked out of the picture.

Just then Jenika reappeared (it hadn’t been her bus after all). From my loud rant and the look of distress on my face, she knew something was not right. I told her what had happened, and she got angry. No, angry is not a strong enough word. Jenika was pissed. “Where is he? Where is he?” she asked me. I pointed to the dirty man in the pink shirt, and said, “There, that one.” And Jenika, the girl who loves nothing more than a confrontation, marched right up to him and gave him several pieces of her mind. I followed and shouted some more from behind her.

As more and more people gathered around to see what the fuss was about, Jenika and I left the scene. My bus was about to go, and, although I wanted to make the man sorry, I wanted to go home and go to bed even more. So I boarded my bus and left Jenika to fight my battle.

When I arrived home, I called Jenika so we could do the whole, “Honey, are you ok?” thing for each other. When we got that out of the way, Jenika finished the story. After I’d boarded the bus, she’s gone back to the scene of the shouting match. Many men had gathered around, and, in their broken English, they asked her what had happened. When they understood Jenika’s words and gestures, the men were extremely sorry. They apologized profusely for the man who had committed the crime, and then they made him leave – forced him right out of the bus stand to be alone with his shame.

I was glad to know this ending, for it showed me that there are more good people in the world than bad – more men who’ll stand up for me than who’ll try to feel me up. That’s the happy ending. The sad ending is that, while the dirty man in the pink shirt might think twice before touching a woman like that again, there are plenty of men just like him who won’t. And it’s going to take a lot more women making a lot more scenes to stop them.